Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been more “visible” lateley! LOL, but I wanted share a secret as to why. When I’m nervous I force myself to be social, funny, outrageous, and for lack of a better word, gregarious! It’s an easier route than sitting back and letting things happen. Waiting, is like a monster to me. Patience is my enemy! Ugh! Tomorrow I go for my second blood test.Last time I went, my Dr. said, “It’ll get easier every time.” I don’t see how that’s possible. Ovarian cancer is no one’s friend. The survival rate, or chances of it not coming back are slim. BUT! I’ve stepped outside the box! I know… you’re shocked!
There was an article in the Wall Street Journal about a month ago, describing one of the oldest drugs on the market having just shown tremendous potential for Ovarian Cancer patients! It increases the life span by 65%! It’s a simple beta blocker called Propranolol. I asked for it to be perscribed for me, and I’ve been on it since! At first, I was so thrilled to hear of it’s availability and the positivity in results that I just grinned and swallowed it! Who Cared about side effects? BTW! It has also been determined that this beta blocker works wonders for Migraines! Ask your doctor!
The nightmares began soon thereafter. I couldn’t understand why I was having such a hard time sleeping because I’m usually down for the count when I hit the bed! After a week, I decided to do more research and found the side effects to indeed include; restless sleep, vivid dreams and nightmares! At least I knew I wasn’t losing my mind, but it took a solid 2-3 weeks for the dreams to stop. I’m sharing this with you so that if you should try this drug, and you’re like me: the one out of 100 that Always has those side affects that doctors laugh about when you ask… just hang in. It gets better.
When you’ve survived a disease like cancer, and you’ve gone through the rigmarole of losing your sanity, hair, lifestyle and upset yourself, family and friends for a while… and then you beat it? People are virtually clapping you on the back, saying “you go girl!” – But as gracious as I want to be, is as frightened as I am, still. I didn’t feel cancer when I first went in for what I felt was a case of “something was Off?” You don’t Feel Cancer. So, what if it’s back? I feel what the chemo has done to me, and the lack of estrogen, but you can’t feel cancer.
We’re back to the beginning of my topic. I’m jovial! I’m carefree – on the outside; on the inside I’m that deer caught in the headlights. I called my Doctor earlier in the week and asked if they could move me up because I couldn’t stand the “not-knowing.” I have a girlfriend who’s going through her second round of breast cancer, and as I route her on… I wonder if she’ll be strong enough to do the same for me,… if. Funny thing is, I’m building a business based on strong women, or women who want to be stronger! I’ve done all of this while being in remission, and one the things I’m screaming about is for women to let their imaginations run wild! Be who you’ve always wanted to be! Take “Me Time!” Go out and buy the wigs that I so dreaded wearing! It’s a whole different ballgame when wearing a wig to change up your style,… your attitude… your husband!
I’m writing when I should be in bed. It seems I’m always outside the box in everything… it may be, that I’ve never lived a normal day in my life. I’ll end with even with all my abnormalities, I urge you to make sure you point your wife towards her doctor for a regular check-up. Being proactive is life altering. Notice I’m talking to the men… because I know my girlfriends out there are smart enough to do this on their own!
I get the results early next week! I’ll let you know if I’ll be badgering you for the next three months! Love, Robin (your favorite Sugar Mom)